Remember: for every inside there is an outside.

And sharks have the ability to turn their stomachs inside-out! How cool is that!

This is the crux of friends and relationships, right here:

"Carrie, we like you. Fred, we like you too. Say, wouldn't it be great if Carrie and Fred got together?"

So you see, your friends are not trying to be a pain in the ass when they try to set you up with someone; they're only trying to put people they like togther. After all, Carrie deserves a good guy, and Fred deserves a good girl, right?

Sometimes I wonder if I was put on this world for the people who "can't" or "won't".

Sure, they're viewed as more polite and all, but a lot of the time they just can't say the things that need to be said. Or won't.

That's where I come in. Most days I really don't give a fuck. I mean, I want to be an angel, I really do -- but sometimes someone's got to call a spade a spade, and it's usually me that's doing it.

I hope it's not bad karma.

"Seriously, I haven't had a boy in a really long time, and I'm really craving ... just a kiss, man. Just a kiss would be nice."
-- Britney Spears coming out about her virginity

My first post in the new and exciting Blogger layout. I'm not really sure how I feel about it yet, but it looks to be something of an improvement over the old layout. Maybe it's like moving to a new apartment -- everything seems just slightly different and out of place, but there's still the familiar ring of your stuff scattered all around.

I've been relatively busy since my last post, but nothing that warrants ranting over. I mean, I could talk about T3, I guess, but I think I need that to gel a little more. Besides, I think anything I write about it won't be all that interesting.

So Britney's not a virgin anymore. Look Britney, no one's surprised that you slept with Justin. We all knew it. It's not a shock. However, don't expect us to believe that you're not out every night being slammed like the gate of a farm pickup. The rest of the non-virgins in the world know that sex is like peanuts: one you start you never want to stop. Now, you know, it might be different if you were surrounded by misfits all day long -- overweight guys, guys with buck teeth, squinty, beady eyes, guys with warts or pimples -- or both! If this were the case then it might be easier for you to fend off their sexual advances.

But you travel with the stars, baby; the Beautiful People. There is no chance that you'll remain celebate in the midst of this group. We see it all the time in the pages of People Magazine -- Star X has broken up with Star Y, but Star X has found a new love in Ashton Kucher! Hollywood is fickle, but it's not the nature of Hollywood, it's the nature of humans; because humans, you see, will always believe that the grass really is greener on the other side of the fence. And when social mores break down, there is very little keeping you and that homely bitch together, especially when that cutie with the nice rack keeps asking you to go skiing in Vale.

So anyway Britney, we are going to think you're a hypocrite for not saving it for marriage, but we are going to acknowledge that it's difficult given who and where you are.

But I guarantee, every male who reads that the genie is out of the bottle is hoping you're going to spread the magic around a little.

Today I found out that Lectures on Everything is the first hit on Google for Athiest Lectures.

I don't know whether to be honoured or correct my typos.

I'm buying a leaf blower next winter, so I can just blow a path to the bus stop.

Tamara's right, it makes no sense.

This certainly took me by surprise! Not the Christopher Taylor, but a good second, possibly.

I mean, the real Christopher Taylor is interesting, funny, and brilliant. This guy is like a clone who was left in the vat 30 seconds too long -- he's interesting and all, but he seems to take himself a little too seriously.

I bet he doesn't watch Homestar Runner.

"'Cuz every hand's a winner, and every hand's a loser, and the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep."
-- The Gambler, by Kenny Rogers

An important quote for me lately, as it seems to have filled my life and permeated my unconscious. Regardless, the Website is worth a laugh.

Life is what you make of it. If you want to be a loser, you're going to be one. Same if you want to be a winner. Sometimes it's a conscious choise, sometimes not; but the choice is still there all the same. If you're looking for a card metaphor, you play the hand you're dealt the best you can. And this is where our pal Kenny hits it: every hand's a winner, and every hand's a loser -- it just depends on how you choose to play it.

This is the truth. And once I get it through my thick skull the better my life will be.

And even though I hate to jump on every bandwagon around, there's a great interview with the creators of HomestarRunner.com on Wired News. I encourage everyone to listen, not just because these guys rock, but because they have integrity -- and you don't find a lot of that in this get-rich-quick, make-money-fast world.