These Glasses Are Neither Half-Full Nor Half-Empty

After (too) much agonizing over new frames, I've finally come down to two choices which I now present to you all for your insightful comments and outrageous mockery. I did ask the kind folks at Eyes to order in a nice set of round frames for me, but, alas, they weren't quite round enough, and the other round frames they had in stock made me look like a Third Reich geneticist. That might help me with the neo-Nazis, but it's definitely not going to endear me to any of the dirty tree-hugging hippies that hang out at O'Hanlon's.

Actually, I was positive that the round frames I'm wearing here were the same ones they were ordering in for me. I liked them because of their similarity to my current glasses. But somehow in the transition from the catalogue to my face they lost their sterling resemblance to God's marvelous symmetry and became some kind of weighted ovoid more fit for the appendix of an upper-year textbook on theoretical geometry than the bridge of my nose. They sagged heavily at the bottom like a full diaper, and there was an audible whirring noise when I put them on, which I can only assume was Euclid spinning in his grave. I immediately tore them from my face and threw them to the ground, jumping heavily upon them and screaming Lovecraftian curses as the thin metal buckled and snapped beneath my boots. I condemned the wretched things with gasping breaths to the deepest pit of hell, then returned to my seat to reconsider my two remaining options.

I exaggerate. Somewhat. But the point is I am no longer able to keep my delightfully round frames and must venture forth into the previously unknown territory of... the rectangle. So please, drink deeply at the trough of my Flickr account. See what my choices are and help me decide which frames will suit me best for the next decade or so. There's also a possibility of contact lenses, but I can't imagine too many people want an unobstructed view of my googly bug eyes.