Things to Avoid, Part 446

Here's a tip for all the little old ladies out there that read my blog: if you're going to stop me on the street to ask me something, please be intelligible. Then, if you're going to follow me when I walk away, please don't cut a loud one when we stop at the corner. And then, whatever you do, please don't say, "Smells like baloney," or anything of that nature.

But if you do do any of this stuff, please do me a favour and continue to walk directly out into the street, mindless of oncoming cars. It seemed to work well for the one lady I met the other day on my walk home from downtown. Maybe she was forcibly propelled by her farts, I don't know.